Killer Tacos—- D.E.

Killer Tacos

Nick arrived early and got a table in the bar section. He had just taken the first sip of his drink when George and Sam walked up to the table. Nick stepped down from his chair, shook George’s hand and hugged Sam. You look great, he said.
George said, What’re ya drinking?
Vodka martini.
No such thing.
Sure there is. There’s one right there. Looking at Sam, Nick said, You must have been out in the sun.
Well your hair looks lighter.
She smiled. Only my hairdresser knows for sure. Besides, I don’t remember the last sunny day around here.
The three of them climbed up into their seats. Yeah, it’s been raining like a bastard. The well in my basement is full up.
George said, When the world ends, at least, you’ll have water.
Sam said, When’s the world gonna end?
Together, Nick and George said, Any day now. They exchanged a glance and a rueful smile.
Sam shook her head and said, You two worked together too damned long. What makes you think the world’s gonna end?
If you read the papers and listen to the news, everyday there’s more evidence that the planet is dying. Did you hear about the landslide up in the mountains?
George said, If you still read newspapers and listen to the radio, you’re living in the nineteen twenties.
Nope. I’m living in the twenty-first century when every indicator says we’re wiping out the environment so quickly we don’t have time to even document the destruction, let alone do anything about it.
Sam said, But one landslide doesn’t prove anything.
That’s true, but lots of weird shit like that, taken together, paints a scary picture. The amount of rain we’ve been getting ain’t normal and neither are all the droughts and the fires and snow storms and all that flooding in England. Sure, shit happens, but when you fuck with mother nature, it hits the fan.
Sam looked at her boyfriend and asked, Do you agree with that?
George nodded and said, Yup. We’re fucked. Seven billion is way too many monkeys. Does everyplace have to have these tall tables now?
The waitress came by and took drink orders from Sam and George. Nick ordered another martini.
Sam asked, Where’s Margot? I thought she’d be here.
She teaches tonight.
I thought she was working at the museum now.
She is, but she’s still teaching two nights a week.
How’s she like the museum?
Well, parts of it are good and she likes everybody she works with but it’s killing her. There should be three people doing her job.
Why don’t they hire more people?
George said, It’s like that everywhere since the recession. Everybody is trying to run everything with just a skeleton crew. That’s why I’m out of work now.
Nick said, I go down there often as I can to help set up tables and chairs.
Sam said, What d’ya mean?
She’s got a Ph.D. but there’s nobody to do the grunt work. Every time she holds a meeting she’s gotta set everything up and take it all down by herself.
George said, That sucks.
Nick said, The worst part about going to the museum is I always forget about those god damn cars hanging from the ceiling until I walk into the lobby and see ‘em again.
George said, Yeah, those suck. And not in a good way.
Sam said, Why? I kinda like ‘em.
Together, Nick and George said, They’re horrible.
Sam said, You two are freaks. Are we gonna eat something?
Nick said, I am. The fish tacos here are killer.
The waitress came back with drinks.
Nick said, See I like these tables. You don’t have to look up at the waitress. We’re all at eye level.
The waitress said, I’m not a waitress. I’m a server.
Nick said, Why not just waiter?
She replied, It sounds menial.
Nick said, I worked at three different restaurants and it never bugged me to be called a waiter.
George said, In five years, they’ll change it again because somebody will decide that server is degrading. I’ll have the fish tacos. They all ordered the fish tacos.
Sam said, I was a wait person.
Nick said, They call these yuppie highchairs.
The waitress asked, What’s a yuppie?
When she departed again, George said, Did you hear that they just found the second largest canyon on earth?
Nick said, Yeah, I heard something about that. Up in Greenland?
Sam, said, I thought Greenland was covered in ice?
Together, Nick and George said, Not for long.
Sam said, Cut it out, you creeps.
Nick said, So, what, is it exposed now?
No. They found it with a satellite that can see through the ice.
Sam said, Why don’t they use that to find the plane in the Indian Ocean?
George said, I don’t think it works that way and you gotta know where to look.
Nick said, So were they looking for the canyon?
No. They were just trying to map the terrain under the glaciers.
What? They couldn’t wait a couple of years until everything melts?
Well, you know, they try to keep busy.
Sam said, So, we have all this technology. Don’t you think they can save the planet with it?
Together, Nick and George said, There’s no time.
Why not?
George said, Cause all the monkeys keep fucking and making more monkeys and they all gotta eat.
Sam said, But we keep finding ways to make more food.
Nick said, And it’s all done by burning petroleum and that’s fucking up the atmosphere and we’re cutting down all the trees and, now, the oceans are dying too.
So, what do we do about it?
Together, Nick and George said, Nothing, we’re screwed.
Sam said, Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. I’ll scream.
Nick said, What’s to worry? We probably have a couple of good years left.
George said, Not many. The only thing the climate scientists got wrong is how fast it’s happening.
Then the waitress arrived with the tacos.
Together, Nick and Sam said, Those look good!



About bbcstudiowrites

This blog is me archiving the BBC Studio Writers Workshop.

Posted on March 25, 2014, in Fiction, Seattle, Short Stories. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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