The King of Techno—Clark Humphrey

(To be sung in a vaguely Austrian, monotoned, clipped accent, over a thumping electronic beat):

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

Twenty years ago.

Lived for all the latest beats

Beeps and blurts anddings and bleats

kept him all night on the streets

gulping E and quoting Keats.

At a club or party room,

making all the speakers BOOM!

Spinning samples; mixing cuts.

Splitting ears and shaking butts.

Hot hot sex while he’s still high,

orgasms to reach the sky.

With a girl or with a guy.

He would never wonder why.

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

Twenty years ago.

Now he has a wife named Rae;

daughters Jan and Grace and Kay.

Busy people all the day,

hard at work and school and play.

When he has his drug flashbacks,

when his memory attacks,

when his head splits like an axe,

they will help him to relax.

Lead him to his chillout spot.

Darkened basement; single cot.

Herbal tea and NyQuil shot.

Thanks the gods for all he’s got.

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

He was the King of Techno

Twenty years ago.

(Long instrumental break, with samples of car engines and old yodeling songs)

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About bbcstudiowrites

This blog is me archiving the BBC Studio Writers Workshop.

Posted on November 10, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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